Bethjoy.com

I know this may be the fourth post in a row to have a random story in it but they are just so much fun to make and read!

So here is this and it should be very funny and well made. Also, look for the bit of poetry that some times starts the story. And hit refresh a lot or you may miss the great green gallumping dragon and the Pink and Purple Penguin of the lower ice caves.

So without much more ado here is “The Quest for Knowladge”, Enjoy! Oh, and I did put my own name in here a bit. And the add for Walmart is unpaid. There are rumers of a new Walmart being built nearer to my house and I hope that comes off.

pickOne = function(listOfThings){
randomNumber = Math.floor(Math.random()*listOfThings.length)
return listOfThings[randomNumber]}

Openings = new Array(”Once upon a time”, “It was a dark and stormy night and”, “Once a prince named”, “Once upon a time a knight named”, “A long time ago in a galaxy far far away,”, “If all the world were paper and all the see were ink then despite all my trying this poem would still stink. So to do something I can do I shall tell you a story. Once upon a time”)
opening = pickOne(Openings)

Heros = new Array(”Richard”, “a great green gallumping dragon”, “Captain Nemo”, “Ralth of the seven swords”, “the King of the Oak Wood”, “Daniel”, “John”, “Andrew”, “Aragorn”, “the leader of the three blind mice”, “an ugly little troll”, “a stray tomcat named Blitzy”, “Henry the Hospitable Horse”)
hero = pickOne(Heros)

Somethings = new Array(”why he could never find any pizza”, “why, if the earth was shaped like a ball, he was not walking upside down”, “if he could successfully jump over the moon like a certain famous cow”, “if he could profitably write poetry for a living”, “whether time travel were possible”, “if he ate twelve heaping bowls of ice cream with three chocolate cakes, whether it would give him indigestion”, “if the price of cheese would rise in the near future”, “if the lovely lady, Elizabeth Von Fange, would write a tale in which he was the hero”)
something = pickOne(Somethings)

persons = new Array(”the beautiful Elizabeth Von Fange”, “the great green dragon of DOOM”, “Gandalf”, “a yellowish green unripe banana seller”, “the great lore master of ancient, what else, lore”, “the tall dwarf”, “the seventh of the twelve blind mice”, “a talking horse”, “the Pink and Purple Penguin of the lower ice caves”, “Queen Luella’s pet pug dog”)
person = pickOne(persons)

knowladge = new Array(”eating goldfish properly”, “pleasing royalty”, “writing all manner of things”, “random information”, “the works of Tolkien”, “Bethjoy.com”, “the proper way to recite the alphabet backwards while standing one’s head”, “chaos”, “nothing at all but they had an interesting name and it would be impressive to say that they had been applied to for knowledge”, “lengthening processes”)
knowledge = pickOne(knowladge)

actions = new Array(”With a shake of their head”, “Looking up from a large volume entitled The Proper Way to Get Rid of Visitors”, “Stepping towards him”, “Preparing to retreat back into their home”, “Not wishing to offend him but plainly implying that they didn’t want to give away much information”, “Looking displeased with the interuption”)
action = pickOne(actions)

tidbits = new Array(”You should not have come here so I won’t disperse any of my great knowledge”, “You shall find what you truly seek in the last place that you shall look for it”, “Sorry, but I’ve taken the day off today and don’t care to answer any questions”, “You don’t happen to have some chocolate chip cookies on you by any chance?”, “Tomorrow morning the sun will rise in the east”, “If a black cat crosses your path you will eventually die”, “The world may be round but that doesn’t mean that it is a perfect sphere”, “All things, even eating, should be done in moderation”, “It is a known fact that Elizabeth Von Fange enjoys writing stories and might, if begged hard enough, write one in which you are the hero. It could be very random though so beware”, “The moon is a strange thing indeed and none can tell whether it is made of cheese or stone”, “Be content with what you have and are”, “No diamond is a piece of cheese”)
tidbit = pickOne(tidbits)

Ends = new Array(”get married”, “stop asking foolish questions”, “eat plenty of cheese and wonder why great oracles of knowledge seldom gave any”, “write a bestseller novel about his adventure”, “wonder if Elizabeth Von Fange would write a sequel”, “ponder the strange words that had been told him”, “find that his pet dog had just had puppies”, “invest a fortune in the stock market, then lose it while waiting for ” + person + ” to tell him whether or not sell”, “find that a pizza store had opened nearby”, “find that a Walmart Supercenter had just been built near his home. Quickly he dashed over in the hopes that he would see Elizabeth Von Fange who often shopped in Walmart”)
end = pickOne(Ends)

document.write(opening) document.write(hero) wanted to know document.write(something). So he decided to seek document.write(person) who was known for their knowledge of document.write(knowledge). Upon reaching document.write(person) document.write(hero) asked document.write(something). document.write(action) document.write(person) said “document.write(tidbit)”. With this document.write(hero) had to be contented and he returned to his home to document.write(end). Hopefully he lived happily ever after.

document.write()