Bethjoy.com

pickOne = function(listOfThings){
randomNumber = Math.floor(Math.random()*listOfThings.length)
return listOfThings[randomNumber]
}

z1 = new Array(”You are very calmly reading a post on Bethjoy.com when suddenly you feel a strange prickly sensation the back of your neck. Turning around you see several miniature aliens who say that they will detonate you unless you tell them a fairy tale. Feeling your mind going blank all you can manage to say is…”, “This seems to satisfy the miniature aliens who leave and let you go back to reading the wonderful writings of Bethjoy.com.”)

a1 = new Array(”Once upon a time”, “Once in the far off land of Europe”, “One day in Rome”, “Once”, “Twenty-three and a half years ago”, “Four Score and Seven years ago”, “A long time ago in a far away land”, “Far from here in the land of France”)
a2 = pickOne(a1)

b1 = new Array(”lovely”, “resourceful”, “clever”, “brunette”, “twenty-four year old”, “little”, “miserly”, “captivating”, “hungry”, “foolish”, “critical”)
b2 = pickOne(b1)

c1 = new Array(”princess”, “lady”, “maiden”, “giantess”, “young lady”, “princess”, “princess”, “princess”, “princess”)
c2 = pickOne(c1)

d1 = new Array(”cross stitch”, “behold the wonders of the world”, “knit”, “eat chocolates”, “consider well the evil tidings every day brought”, “contemplate the difference between a gown made of silk and a gown made of satin”, “play epic games of clue”, “write poetry”, “read books of romance”, “read the writings of Elizabeth Von Fange”, “dream that someday her prince would come, though hopefully without the seven dwarfs”)
d2 = pickOne(d1)

e1 = new Array(”handsome”, “knowledgeable”, “courageous”, “short”, “witty”, “pleasant”, “cantankerous”, “stubborn”, “hungry”, “weary”, “ugly”, “diminutive”, “poor”, “wealthy”, “lonely”, “confused”, “handsome”)
e2 = pickOne(e1)

f1 = new Array(”prince”, “knight”, “lord”, “hamster”, “warrior”, “king”, “poet”, “prince”, “lad”, “stable boy”, “alien from mars”, “lawyer”, “prince”, “young man”)
f2 = pickOne(f1)

g1 = new Array(”coal black”, “pink and purple polka-dotted”, “green”, “grey”, “snow white”, “chestnut brown”, “gigantic”, “tiny”, “willful”, “galloping”, “hungry”, “pink”, “hideous”, “ugly”, “pistachio purple”, “carrot munching”)
g2 = pickOne(g1)

h1 = new Array(”horse”, “dragon”, “pig”, “ostrich”, “eagle”, “pony”, “stallion”, “donkey”, “mule”, “Greater Swiss Mountain Dog”, “elephant”, “cow”, “Porsche”, “Ferrari”, “horse”, “horse”, “Mercedes”, “lion”, “rabbit”, “sea horse”)
h = pickOne(h1)

i1 = new Array(”do eight handstands while galloping madly”, “eat twelve carrots”, “stand on his head and recite the entire Hawaiian alphabet backward”, “present her with eighteen red roses as that was how old she looked to him”, “serenade his love with his own compositions”, “tell her how charming and lovely she was”, “absentmindedly eat three boxes of chocolate when he meant to eat four”, “run around in circles singing loudly”, “tell her of his bold and daring adventures”, “jump up in the air higher than five feet”)
i = pickOne(i1)

j1 = new Array(”felt the passions of love stirring within her”, “was extremely surprised”, “instantly fell head over heels in love”, “gazed down admiringly”, “was quite impressed”)
j = pickOne(j1)

k1 = new Array(”intelligence”, “logical reason and sense Tra La”, “good looks”, “courage”, “mental capabilities”, “good taste in mounts”, “wealth”, “girth”, “observation”, “size”, “height”, “weight”, “ability to choose something appropriate to ride”)
k = pickOne(k1)

l1 = new Array(”miniature”, “little green”, “fierce”, “ugly”, “gigantic”, “purple”, “hairy”, “red”, “pink and purple polka-dotted”, “hungry”, “board”)
l = pickOne(l1)

m1 = new Array(”aliens”, “aliens”, “aliens”, “martians”, “dragons”, “puppy dogs”, “Jedi”, “cats”, “rats”, “knights”, “gold fish”, “jelly fish”, “classified specimens of who knows what”, “martians”)
m = pickOne(m1)

n1 = new Array(”detonate”, “decapitate”, “tickle”, “annoy”, “liquidate”, “pester”, “haunt”, “flatter”, “flatten”, “torment”, “yell at”, “fumigate”, “marinate”, “infuriate”, “captivate”, “stare at”, “throw things at”, “do the unthinkable to”, “attempt to sing seven stanzas of a poem that only has six to”)
n = pickOne(n1)

You are very calmly reading a post on Bethjoy.com when suddenly you feel a strange prickly sensation on the back of your neck. Turning around you see several document.write(l) document.write(m) who say that they will document.write(n) you unless you tell them a fairy tale. Feeling your mind going blank all you can manage to say is…

document.write()

“document.write(a2) there was a document.write(b2) document.write(c2) who loved to sit by her window and document.write(d2). One day a document.write(e2) document.write(f2) rode by on his document.write(g2) document.write(h) and saw her. Instantly falling in love he proceeded to document.write(i) and hope she would notice him favorably. On observing this the document.write(c2) document.write(j), though she felt as though her suitor was lacking in document.write(k). But despite this and other things they got married and lived happily ever after. The End”

This seems to satisfy the document.write(l) document.write(m) who leave and let you go back to reading the wonderful writings of Bethjoy.com.

Once upon a time there was a lovely princess who loved to sit by her window and cross stitch. One day a handsome prince rode by on his coal black mare and saw her. Instantly falling in love he proceeded to do eight handstands while galloping madly and hoped she would notice. On observing this the princess felt the passions of love stirring within her, though she felt as though her suitor was lacking in intelligence. But despite this and other things they got married and lived happily ever after. The End

document.write()