Bethjoy.com

Whereas I mentioned Fairies in the previous short story I put on here and
Whereas I kind of feel like writing a bit of a Legal Form and
Whereas I have no clue on how to do it and
Whereas I think I had better stop this and move on to something else and
Whereas this is beginning to look like poetry and
Whereas I ought to be able write a really interesting if not strange tale right now
Be It Decided that I will stop this and get down to business.

What I meant to say was that in the last story, although I mentioned fairies, I didn’t exactly mention my impression of what they looked like, or what size they were, or what their costumes were etc. Therefore I think I shall fix this problem by attempting to write a descriptive fairy story, though really, I think I’m going to fail miserably so I hope you’ll just enjoy whatever it is that I write and please remember, I am writing this while feeling very ill and upset in the region of the stomach. So with that said, please do not criticize too harshly the following tale…

The Quest for the Lovely Silver Something or Other

Glarcer looked up nervously as Kligran exited the house where he had been and moved on down the street. A fierce rivalry had sprung up between the two young men fairies ever since they found out that each of them liked the exact same girl, the lovely young Daffodil whose golden hair would never inspire a blonde joke, though her actions might…

Today was a very interesting one, for it was the day before Daffodil’s eighteenth birthday and it was customary for all of the fairy girls to become engaged when they turned eighteen since if they didn’t on their nineteenth birthday their lovely pink wings would curl up at the edges and then wither and look like fallen leaves of the brown variety. Now no one has actually seen a female fairy with wings of this sort since none of them have ever managed to reach the age of nineteen without at least being engaged. Fairy girls are quite fortunate for all are born beautiful and stay beautiful and charming, and even if that were not so, in a typical fairy family there are about eight sons to each daughter… The fact that only two young men fairies were fighting, or at least hostilely glaring at each other, was a testimonial to the fact that in comparison to most about to be eighteen year old fairy girls, Daffodil was rather plain…

Daffodil’s father, The Great High and Mighty Claf Congruter (and how he got that title and what that title means I have no clue…), would that very day make an announcement as to what the proper gift would be in order to secure the hand of his daughter. This was quite customary and was correct due to the laws of supply and demand. As there are not very many diamonds in comparison to, let us say, Wrapping paper you can buy quite a lot of wrapping paper for the price of a diamond although more effort might have gone into the manufacture of the wrapping paper. Now in case you, like me, have entirely lost track of what I am writing about I shall recap, or even better, move on.

Although from the amount of shoving and bumping into one another you would have thought that at least five dozen fairies were present, Glarcer and Kligran were the only ones there, besides of course Daffodil, her Father, her eighteen brothers, and various other relations of Daffodil so really there were about eight dozen fairies present in total and Glarcer and Kligran did most of the shoving. Their mutual enmity increased rapidly as the time for Daffodil’s engagement drew near. Indeed the only reason they were able to contain themselves was that the bride price for Daffodil had not yet been announced, and each felt certain that the other could never get it, whatever it was.

Indeed, as soon as The Great High and Mighty Claf Congruter mentioned what the bride price was going to be in a speech of two and a half hours duration each felt even more certain of the other’s failure. For the bride price for Daffodil was none other than The Lovely Silver Something or Other. The mere fact that the words Lovely Silver Something or Other can bring to mind visions of many very different things did not aid the fact that there was a “The” involved which meant that a very specific Lovely Silver Something or Other was wanted. However in ten minutes out of the two and a half hours Glarcer and Kligran had learned enough about the The Lovely Silver Something or Other to know which one was meant, and where to get it.

As soon as it was five minutes past the proper time to set out and each had decided that just standing there knocking their knees together was foolish, Glarcer and Kligran set out on their quest. For some odd reason they remained within close proximity of each other as they left the safe fairy glade behind them and headed for the dangerous world outside, I think it was because each felt that if something with an appetite came along, while it was eating the other one they could sneak past it.

Indeed, their destination was hardly in sight when they encountered their first serious danger. It was a monster towering above them, nearly twenty-times their height. Out of it’s mouth proceeded a most horrible and deafening Yip noise that would have frightened the ears off a deaf post, if it had any to begin with. Glarcer and Kligran look nervously at the monster and wondered just what sort of creature it was. And although they didn’t know what it was, I do. It was a Chihuahua Puppy!!!. The terror they would have gone through if they had met a certain animal I see just about every day who has the Great Swissy Paw of Death I don’t like to think…

Glarcer and Kligran decided that the wise and prudent thing to do under the circumstances was to get out of the vicinity of the Chihuahua Puppy as quickly as possible. Unfortunately this was easier said than done for no sooner did they move out of the vicinity of the Chihuahua Puppy than the vicinity moved to include them in it. For you see, the Chihuahua Puppy had decided to chase them while yipping madly. Finally the two of them were able to lose the little dog by flying over a nest of hornets which it ran straight into, and then ran yelping in the opposite direction from while being pursued by the occupants thereof.

Having gotten ridden of their encumbrance the two fairies made there way into a nearby farmhouse where The Lovely Silver Something or Other was most likely to be found. And indeed, find it they did. For they saw a lovely Silver Thimble.

As they considered that all was fair in love or war, which is not quite true I think, they picked up the thimble and flew away with it, never thinking of making any sort of restitution. Remember this, it will probably have some effect on the Moral of the story. However, “they” picked it up as neither could lift it by themselves and they came to an agreement that they would let Daffodil choose between them, in other words they were postponing a large fight and argument until after they got the thimble to the fairy glade.

However when they arrived they decided to postpone the altercation until after they had gazed once more on the loveliness of fair Daffodil. And as they approached the part of the clearing where Daffodil was they suddenly realized with a sinking feeling that there was now no longer any reason for the altercation, or for the thimble. for Daffodil was now engaged to handsome young Drotwedge as he had brought an even bigger thimble than the one they had.

With a sigh of despair the Glarcer and Kligran looked at each other and decided that crime doesn’t pay. So they returned the thimble and decided to steal no more, and they even swore bonds of eternal friendship as they returned to the fairy glade. And then they saw Violet… THE END AND HISTORY OFTEN REPEATS ITSELF

Moral: Sometimes when tastes are exactly the same Twins are very useful… Oh, and Crime doesn’t pay and writing when your stomach feels upset can have really odd effects on the resulting story…

Oh, and I do apologize if this story isn’t quite the same caliber as some others I’ve written, I know it’s better than some stories I’ve written. As tomorrow, or perhaps I should say today since it is eleven minutes after twelve, is Valentines Day I hope to write at least one romantic story and hopefully more. As I can write one by merely and just saying, “Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess. A handsome prince saw her and fell madly in love with her. Although she didn’t think he was wise in his decision to eat a half a loaf of rye bread every half hour she decided to accept his marriage proposal, which she did. So they got married and lived happily ever after and with the addition of ham, mustard and the invention of sliced bread they invented sandwiches.”

I think I ought to stop writing now. For one thing thinking about food is making me hungry and I know eating right now is a bad idea. And for another thing I ought to get to sleep and this post is quite long enough already. Besides, I still have some medicine left to take, a few more episodes of the Dick Van Dike Show. Remarkable how a few DVD’s can make you forget an illness… However now is the time for sleep…

And I do hope I haven’t bored anyone with complaints about my illness, but I am ill and it probably will turn out to be a good thing for Bethjoy.com that I am since I’ll probably stay home from the YMCA Monday and that will give me plenty of time to write:)