Bethjoy.com

I know this may be the fourth post in a row to have a random story in it but they are just so much fun to make and read!

So here is this and it should be very funny and well made. Also, look for the bit of poetry that some times starts the story. And hit refresh a lot or you may miss the great green gallumping dragon and the Pink and Purple Penguin of the lower ice caves.

So without much more ado here is “The Quest for Knowladge”, Enjoy! Oh, and I did put my own name in here a bit. And the add for Walmart is unpaid. There are rumers of a new Walmart being built nearer to my house and I hope that comes off.

pickOne = function(listOfThings){
randomNumber = Math.floor(Math.random()*listOfThings.length)
return listOfThings[randomNumber]}

Openings = new Array(”Once upon a time”, “It was a dark and stormy night and”, “Once a prince named”, “Once upon a time a knight named”, “A long time ago in a galaxy far far away,”, “If all the world were paper and all the see were ink then despite all my trying this poem would still stink. So to do something I can do I shall tell you a story. Once upon a time”)
opening = pickOne(Openings)

Heros = new Array(”Richard”, “a great green gallumping dragon”, “Captain Nemo”, “Ralth of the seven swords”, “the King of the Oak Wood”, “Daniel”, “John”, “Andrew”, “Aragorn”, “the leader of the three blind mice”, “an ugly little troll”, “a stray tomcat named Blitzy”, “Henry the Hospitable Horse”)
hero = pickOne(Heros)

Somethings = new Array(”why he could never find any pizza”, “why, if the earth was shaped like a ball, he was not walking upside down”, “if he could successfully jump over the moon like a certain famous cow”, “if he could profitably write poetry for a living”, “whether time travel were possible”, “if he ate twelve heaping bowls of ice cream with three chocolate cakes, whether it would give him indigestion”, “if the price of cheese would rise in the near future”, “if the lovely lady, Elizabeth Von Fange, would write a tale in which he was the hero”)
something = pickOne(Somethings)

persons = new Array(”the beautiful Elizabeth Von Fange”, “the great green dragon of DOOM”, “Gandalf”, “a yellowish green unripe banana seller”, “the great lore master of ancient, what else, lore”, “the tall dwarf”, “the seventh of the twelve blind mice”, “a talking horse”, “the Pink and Purple Penguin of the lower ice caves”, “Queen Luella’s pet pug dog”)
person = pickOne(persons)

knowladge = new Array(”eating goldfish properly”, “pleasing royalty”, “writing all manner of things”, “random information”, “the works of Tolkien”, “Bethjoy.com”, “the proper way to recite the alphabet backwards while standing one’s head”, “chaos”, “nothing at all but they had an interesting name and it would be impressive to say that they had been applied to for knowledge”, “lengthening processes”)
knowledge = pickOne(knowladge)

actions = new Array(”With a shake of their head”, “Looking up from a large volume entitled The Proper Way to Get Rid of Visitors”, “Stepping towards him”, “Preparing to retreat back into their home”, “Not wishing to offend him but plainly implying that they didn’t want to give away much information”, “Looking displeased with the interuption”)
action = pickOne(actions)

tidbits = new Array(”You should not have come here so I won’t disperse any of my great knowledge”, “You shall find what you truly seek in the last place that you shall look for it”, “Sorry, but I’ve taken the day off today and don’t care to answer any questions”, “You don’t happen to have some chocolate chip cookies on you by any chance?”, “Tomorrow morning the sun will rise in the east”, “If a black cat crosses your path you will eventually die”, “The world may be round but that doesn’t mean that it is a perfect sphere”, “All things, even eating, should be done in moderation”, “It is a known fact that Elizabeth Von Fange enjoys writing stories and might, if begged hard enough, write one in which you are the hero. It could be very random though so beware”, “The moon is a strange thing indeed and none can tell whether it is made of cheese or stone”, “Be content with what you have and are”, “No diamond is a piece of cheese”)
tidbit = pickOne(tidbits)

Ends = new Array(”get married”, “stop asking foolish questions”, “eat plenty of cheese and wonder why great oracles of knowledge seldom gave any”, “write a bestseller novel about his adventure”, “wonder if Elizabeth Von Fange would write a sequel”, “ponder the strange words that had been told him”, “find that his pet dog had just had puppies”, “invest a fortune in the stock market, then lose it while waiting for ” + person + ” to tell him whether or not sell”, “find that a pizza store had opened nearby”, “find that a Walmart Supercenter had just been built near his home. Quickly he dashed over in the hopes that he would see Elizabeth Von Fange who often shopped in Walmart”)
end = pickOne(Ends)

document.write(opening) document.write(hero) wanted to know document.write(something). So he decided to seek document.write(person) who was known for their knowledge of document.write(knowledge). Upon reaching document.write(person) document.write(hero) asked document.write(something). document.write(action) document.write(person) said “document.write(tidbit)”. With this document.write(hero) had to be contented and he returned to his home to document.write(end). Hopefully he lived happily ever after.

document.write()

These stories are so fun I just made another. This one makes a bit more sense and was written better. I like having morals at the end of my stories so I put some on. In some cases they can have great meaning… Hopefully you will enjoy this tale and don’t forget to hit the refresh button.

pickOne = function(listOfThings){
randomNumber = Math.floor(Math.random()*listOfThings.length)
return listOfThings[randomNumber]
}

Heros = new Array(”prince”, “hero”, “lord”, “duke”, “stable boy”)
Hero = pickOne(Heros)

Event1s = new Array(”he heard that dragons had attacked in the northern wastlands”, “he found a mysterious scroll that he could not read”, “he got tired of his ordinary life”, “he accidently swallowed a prune”)
event1 = pickOne(Event1s)

Choices = new Array(”decided to go off and have an adventure”, “decided to find some one who could read mysterious things”, “thought than eating a pizza would help so he decided to go find one”, “wanted to go off and slay dragons”)
choice = pickOne(Choices)

hdescs = new Array(”brown”, “white”, “trusty”, “faithful”, “blue and green spotted”, “hungry”, “frightened”, “old”)
hDesc = pickOne(hdescs)

event2s = new Array(”was attacked by dragons”, “rode into a dead end valley”, “lost his way”, “was kidnapped by pirates”, “was attacked by strange green creatures”, “was challenged to single combat by a strange black knight. After a difficult fight the knight was defeated”)
Event2 = pickOne(event2s)

event3s = new Array(”he found that he was hungry”, “he decided to just go home”, “he was attacked by wolves”, “he heard that lovely princess had been kidnapped to a nearby place and decided to rescue her”, “he found five pizzas and decided to eat them”, “he found an interesting book lying on a table and started to read it. It was written by Elizabeth Von Fange and was so fascinating that he couldn’t stop reading it until he had finished it”)
Event3 = pickOne(event3s)

event4s = new Array(”found that they did not have any pizzas there”, “realized that adventures, though enjoyable, made one late for dinner”, “found an old man who could read any language, even pig latin”, “slew a dragon”, “ate ten pizzas but still feeling hungry he decided to consume a huge bowl of fresh strawberries and cream with plenty of ice cream to go with it”)
Event4 = pickOne(event4s)

ends = new Array(”lived happily ever after”, “eventually died of indigestion”, “put his tired horse back in the stable”, “decided to stop seeking adventures”, “found that dragons had not attacked in his absence”, “married a beautiful princess”)
End = pickOne(ends)

morals = new Array(”You usually find what you are seeking in the last place you look”, “Adventures are not always pleasant”, “Let sleeping dragons lie”, “Moderation in everything is usually a good idea”, “A dragon in a cage is preferable to two at hand”, “Not all fairy tales end in happily ever after”, “Eat plenty of Pizza”)
Moral = pickOne(morals)

Once upon a time there was a document.write(Hero).
One day document.write(event1)
and he document.write(choice).
Mounting on his document.write(hDesc)
horse he rode away. But before he had gone far he document.write(Event2).
After he got out of that scrape document.write(Event3)
and that delayed him quite a bit too. Eventually he got to his destination and document.write(Event4).

Then after his mission was successful he returned home and document.write(End).

MORAL: document.write(Moral)

So I now write a bit of code. It is very fun and I’ll probably write some more random fairy tales. In fact I have one more to post. It is really fun to make them and rather fun to read them. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day… I might make a really long and detailed random story generator that would be able to make actual book stories for the Taldan series. But that would probably be a lot of work but it is very fun making these random stories. So here is this one and don’t forget to press the refresh button once you are done reading it.

pickOne = function(listOfThings){
randomNumber = Math.floor(Math.random()*listOfThings.length)
return listOfThings[randomNumber]
}

mainTypeCharacters = new Array(”a prince”, “a knight”, “a stable boy”, “a duke”, “a captain”)
mainTypeCharacter = pickOne(mainTypeCharacters)

MainNames = new Array(”Richard”, “Ronald”, “Henry”, “Aragorn”, “Raltz”, “Daniel”, “John”, “Andrew”)
MainName = pickOne(MainNames)

MainCharacteristics = new Array(”young”, “adventurous”, “handsome”, “fearless”)
MainCharacteristic = pickOne(MainCharacteristics)

MainSkills = new Array(”fencing”, “military strategy”, “hunting”, “ancient lore”, “swallowing giant pickles”)
MainSkill = pickOne(MainSkills)

SecondSkills = new Array(”eating”, “riding”, “singing”, “fighting”)
SecondSkill = pickOne(SecondSkills)

AdjForItems = new Array(”powerful”, “deadly”, “beautiful”, “enchanted”)
AdjForItem = pickOne(AdjForItems)

MainItems = new Array(”banana”, “porcelain cat”, “sword”, “tome”, “golden bell”, “diamond necklace”, “emerald dragon”)
MainItem = pickOne(MainItems)

MainEnds = new Array(”DOOM”, “Delmer”, “Power”, “Terror”, “Terild”, “Anciant Lore”)
MainEnd = pickOne(MainEnds)

MainDescofComps = new Array(”faithful”, “trusted”, “handsome”, “cowardly”, “hungry”, “adventure seeking”)
MainDescOfComp = pickOne(MainDescofComps)

MainComps = new Array(”friend”, “brother”, “horse”, “talking dog”, “pet dragon”, “companion in adventure”)
MainComp = pickOne(MainComps)

CompNames = new Array(”Ralph”, “Waldo”, “Christopher”, “Mark”, “Eric”, “Narcus”, “Ceasur”, “Yulf”)
CompName = pickOne(CompNames)

Travels = new Array(”through valleys”, “over mountians”, “across streams”, “over fields”, “under stars”)
Travel = pickOne(Travels)

Travel2 = pickOne(Travels)

finds = new Array(”nothing”, “a castle”, “a river”, “the sea”, “a well”, “a dragon’s skeleton”)
Find = pickOne(finds)

Feelings = new Array(”Discouraged”, “Encouraged”, “Weary”, “Hungry”, “Tired”, “Hopeful”)
Feeling = pickOne(Feelings)

Places = new Array(”castle”, “cave”, “place”, “oasis”)
Place = pickOne(Places)

hidden = new Array(”hidden”, “placed”, “concealed”, “stored”, “guarded”)
hide = pickOne(hidden)

desc = new Array(”fierce”, “smelly”, “green”, “ugly”)
des = pickOne(desc)

things = new Array(”dragon”, “knight”, “troll”, “creature”)
thing = pickOne(things)

greetings = new Array(”growled”, “attacked”, “screamed”, “ate garlic”, “crunched bones”)
greeting = pickOne(greetings)

actions = new Array(”struck”, “yelled insults at”, “dodged”, “ran away from”, “charged past”)
action = pickOne(actions)

creatures = new Array(”monsters”, “dragons”, “wolves”, “Great Green Globs of Goo”)
cre = pickOne(creatures)

mission = new Array(”quest”, “journey”, “mission”, “seeking”)
mis = pickOne(mission)

Once upon a time there lived document.write(mainTypeCharacter) named document.write(MainName). document.write(MainName) was document.write(MainCharacteristic) and he was highly skilled in document.write(MainSkill) and document.write(SecondSkill) . One day heard of the document.write(AdjForItem) document.write(MainItem) of document.write(MainEnd) and decided to seek it for himself. He set out with his document.write(MainDescOfComp) document.write(MainComp) named document.write(CompName) to find the document.write(AdjForItem) document.write(MainItem) of document.write(MainEnd).

After traveling document.write(Travel) and document.write(Travel2) they found document.write(Find). document.write(Feeling), they went on, until they reached the document.write(Place) where the document.write(AdjForItem) document.write(MainItem) of document.write(MainEnd) was document.write(hide). It was guarded by a document.write(des) document.write(thing) who
document.write(greeting) as they approached.

The travelers attacked and document.write(MainName) document.write(action) the document.write(thing). Then the battle began in earnest and several document.write(cre)

joined the document.write(thing) and document.write(MainName) and document.write(CompName) were hard pressed.

In the end they won their way through to the document.write(AdjForItem) document.write(MainItem) of document.write(MainEnd) and took it. They then returned to their home with the obeject of their document.write(mis) and lived happily ever after.

Today Daniel has just shown me a bit of code:) With this code I was able to make something completely random. So each time you refresh the page, this story will change:) Enjoy!

pickOne = function(listOfThings){
randomNumber = Math.floor(Math.random()*listOfThings.length)
return listOfThings[randomNumber]
}

mainCharacters = new Array(
“Prince”,
“Princess”,
“Knight”,
“Knight’s Daughter”,
“Peasant Boy”,
“Stable Boy”,
“Dragon”
)
mainCharacter = pickOne(mainCharacters)

mainActions = new Array(”eat”, “have adventures”, “feed the dog”, “slay a dragon”, “program code”)
mainAction = pickOne(mainActions)

mainVillians = new Array(”a talking cat”, “a computer”, “a dragon”, “an evil knight”, “a friend”)
mainVillian = pickOne(mainVillians)

secondActions = new Array(”defeat the villain”, “eat lunch”, “retire”, “program code”, “marry royalty”, “buy a dog”)
secondAction = pickOne(secondActions)

mainItems = new Array(”sword”, “computer”, “dog”, “cat”, “best friend”, “pet dragon”)
mainItem = pickOne(mainItems)

mainDescriptions = new Array(”blue”, “hungry”, “a coward”, “useless”, “malfunctioning”)
mainDescription = pickOne(mainDescriptions)

mainEndings = new Array(”eat Pizza”, “program code”, “write stories”, “get married”, “take care of dragons”, “settle down”)
mainEnding = pickOne(mainEndings)

Once upon a time there was a document.write(mainCharacter) who wanted to document.write(mainAction) but document.write(mainVillian) prevented them. So the document.write(mainCharacter) tried to document.write(secondAction) with their document.write(mainItem) but that did not work however since their document.write(mainItem) was document.write(mainDescription).

So in the end document.write(mainCharacter) had to just document.write(mainEnding) and live happily ever after.

I am currently much enjoying this book. So far there is something funny every few paragraphs and if I keep it up until the end of the book maybe some one will like it enough to publish it.

I have long wondered how long a page in a book is and I have finally learned, it is aproximatly 55 characters across and 32 lines down. This vital information I discovered by taking a few novels and counting the amount of characters and lines. I plugged these numbers into text edit and brought up a box that was exactly that so now I can find out how many pages I have writen in a book. There are a lot of words on a page and a lot of typing to be done to fill them… At least I am getting faster with my typing.

It is amazing just how many different projects I have started and not completed, especially in writing. At least I know that later, when I am tired of one project I can go back and work on the other.

Curently I have quite a few plots, ideas, and stories. You know, I think I’m going to find out just how many pages “The Royal Crowns of Scotland” was.

It was about fifty five book pages long! Having done a bit of research on book lengths, I need to at least double and potienally quadruple that.

That is a lot of typing… However if I put in a lot of (comments) I might be able to make this story long enough without stretching the plot to extreme limits. Currently the eight pages I have consist of a forward, all of chapter one, and a bit of chapter two. So it will be interesting to see what happens with this story.

Also if I will ever begin a long story and finish it as long or longer than intended!

I know when writing fiction anything can happen and anything is possible but I am writing a story and the focal point is a necklace of a hundred perfectly matched pearls that are an inch in diameter.

I think a necklace like that would be at least three yards long and rather heavy, but could it be worn? Well for the sake of the book I shall say YES and use it since the hundred pearls are the focal point of the whole book. Oh and the name of it will be “Elaine’s Pearls”. It is like that like so many other of my writing projects I shall work on it for a time then stop and let it collect dust but frequently I go back and use old material. All yesterday almost I worked on this story and though I still haven’t named most of the important characters(In fact I have just named Elaine, Elaine, and Elthia and have left The Prince, The Duke, The Queen, The King, The Stepmother, The Father, The Stepsister, The Earl, The Colonel, and The Other Supporiting Characters nameless. But you can’t have everything.)

I am now back to ramblin and () which means that the opening of the book is rather (). It would be nice if I actually finished this book, it might be very interesting.

However it is about as likely that a petite young bride could wear a necklace of a hundred inch in diameter pearls.

On the trip the time difference was considerable so when we returned there was an adjustment to make. So I foolishly thought I could do something nice, wake up at six and have three whole hours before breakfast at nine. Well, I could wake up at six but so is everybody else and now breakfast is at seven thirty. The whole idea of waking up early was to have my undisturbed time(Usually between nine in the evening and one in the morning) to write etc in the morning and go to bed early. So now the whole purpose of waking up early has been defeated. I am extremely unhappy right now because getting up earlier will probably make me want to go to sleep earlier and then I won’t have any undisturbed time for writing!!!

Also I don’t like being yelled at every morning. “ELIZABETH BREAKFAST” Shouted by five persons is extremely unpleasant. Today it was only four because Daniel is gone(I really miss, and worse of all my phone charger is lost so I can’t call him).

Anyway I am almost crying right now and I feel miserable and sick. What a pleasant way to start a morning…

I suppose I really shouldn’t be writing when I am really depressed, it makes everything more depressing to see it written down. Oh well, most people make mountains sound like mole hills but a mole hill would be quite a mountain to an centimeter high person.

And before I begin a discussion on logic and preparations I shall end this post and go downstairs and clear the table as I have been yelled at, I mean asked to do. At least in my old age I’ll be used to it and it is mainly my fault, for very little less than pounding on my door and “ELIZABETH” is enough to get me up in the morning, I like to sleep.

You know, “The Inevitable Doom Hath Come” would make a great book title. It probably already is a book but sometime I might write a story with that title, next time I’m in a depressed state of mind maybe.

I’m going to have a great time with my “Random Fairy Tale Generator”. There is nothing like having a bunch of things and putting them together so that they work and make perfect sense. I’m afraid most of these stories won’t be very humorous but I may put humor in later. It is very enjoyable seeing things come together. Hopefully I can write five stories a week which would make this book done in five weeks, then probably another week for editing and being out of schedule. Then if it is good enough I might try attempting to get it published. Then again I may not. I might just wait until I have the entire trilogy written and then send them out.

Or perhaps I could just sell it off this website through pay pal! I wish… Wouldn’t it be nice(for me) if I could actually get money from Bethjoy.com? Oh how delightful it would be! But instead I think I’ll just plug away at my writing and I think I ought to read the Thesaurus.

You know, it’s odd but the Butler is almost never the hero and usually the villain. I wonder why?

Any way I just wrote the “Random Fairy Tale Generator” and I wrote a bit more for it than I expected. Instead of being ten groups of ten it is eleven groups of ten. Which means that even more stories can come forth out of it. So now I’ll be randomly writing down numbers and then seeing what sort of a story I come up with and writing it. Which should be a very fun game:)

I may post the “Random Fairy Tale Generator” later but I don’t want you to know what might happen before it happens.

I’m getting up earlier in the morning. Though currently it’s more of “Late to bed, Early to get up, makes me sleepy, weepy, and fed up”. I’ve started a new project, as I want very much to get something published I’ve started a story that I’m going to try to get good enough to publish. Then if I think that book is good enough I’m going to make it into a trilogy and I already have all of the names.

Twenty Five Tales of Taldan
Twenty Five Myths of Mylar
Twenty Five Legends of Laroth

Of course I still have to make certain that nobody else has written about Taldan, Mylar, and Laroth but if other lands in other books already have those names I can change them without too much difficulty. Any way there will be twenty five different short stories in each of the books that happen in the land the book is about with perhaps small journeys into other countries. Tales, Myths, and Legends sound like they would make a very good trilogy.

But one thing about this is that I’ll need to write seventy five stories in total, so to help in that work I’m going to write “The Random Fairy Tale Generator” today or some other time. I’ll list A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, and I then 1 - 10 for each of the letters then have key story parts listed so there will be ten different heros, ten different main story lines, ten different villains, ten different side kicks, or secondary characters, etc…

Then to make it random I shall randomly chose ten numbers from 1 - 10 and see if I can make sense out it. That challenge should aid in the interesting process of writing seventy five short stories.

Perhaps if I knew programing code I could write a real “Random Fairy Tale Generator” I’ll have to ask Daniel about that when he gets back from the beach. I’m really going to miss him.

Any way it would definitely be nice to be published and I am going to be working a lot on my writing so that I can be. And now to start writing “The Random Fairy Tale Generator”, or perhaps do something else.